A Story of Father-Daughter Relationship
Last night was a great start to Father’s Day, I took the initiative to talk to my father. It started off with sharing pleasantries and ended with me crying. Just to get things straight a 23-year-old crying in front of her father not because he is ill or something but both of us were simply discussing things they don’t like about each other.
Just to be clear I never shared a great relationship with my father. It was always on point. He had clear terms and conditions written for me right from the beginning. And I dare to not agree on those.
So Is He Not A Good Provider?
Well, I dare say not, he has been a strict father but a really good provider. He has raised us in a really comfortable environment where finances is never an issue. He is probably the reason I am such a rebel and a bit too high maintenance.
If So Then What Is The Issue At All?
The issue I had until last night was, he didn’t give me the attention and support I deserve from him. I have been an overachiever kid ( not to brag) and he never ever in my life appreciated or even congratulated for my achievements. The most he said was, ” I know you can do better.”
I was not only just pissed but rather felt neglected by my own father. I always felt dejected and no attachment towards him. Since the vision, I have for myself is stark opposite to what he has defined for me.
So What Happened Next…
I said few things and he said few things, in the end, we accepted that we both have ego’s that were wounded by each other’s perception. So we put our defenses down and listened with an open mind.
I won’t say we agreed amicably thereafter but all I can say is,
“With parents, we have to agree to disagree but without being vocal about it.”A Reconciliation: Story of a Father-Daughter Relationship
What We Decided
My father and I decided not to hold on to such thoughts anymore. Talk often to each other, which I actually hate but I think I will manage. We both agreed that he can’t be vocal about his emotions, thanks to Indian Patriarchy. So I have to just make him hear me as he craved for my attention too. I have agreed to respect him for what he is, a self-made human.
The Lessons I Learnt
Listening and giving freedom to put across your thoughts is a crucial part of a relationship.
I have realized the very existence of mine is there because of his freedom, in whatever way.
Not all relationships are meant to be the father-daughter relationship goals. Some are there just to exist!
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